Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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