It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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