meet me or not, i'm out of control
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
