I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
