forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize