She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
