hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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