The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize