I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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