I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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