It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize