your thong is hanging out like whoa
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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