12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
