As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
