she takes plan B like it's going out of style
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
