Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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