I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
