Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
