Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
