the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Shame is for Republicans.
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