did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
