Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
