Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
