she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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