TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize