none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
