Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
