i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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