Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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