so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
