take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
