Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
