Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
