did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
