I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
