I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
nutella sex= disaster
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
