Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We need a shit load of segways right now
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
