My first STD was from a foam party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My vagina just recognized that song.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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