i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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