It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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