The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
