I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
