IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
and she was petting her beer can
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
