I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
