but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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