I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
