Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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