I smell stomach acid.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
