ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
