We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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