is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
