I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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