just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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