Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Drunk is not a location!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
