If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
