Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
