im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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