I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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