there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize